Hypocrisy

In the past several weeks I’ve been working with two different groups of businesswomen, developing social-media based movements to advance social change in and around the workplace.

Conversations with these women have been intellectually challenging, inspiring and empowering. And they have also been oddly confessional, about a problem that — in my opinion — it’s time to bring out into the open.

A Personal Authenticity Problem

These women can’t be authentic, and can’t be their most powerful, because they are hiding something. These powerful, dynamic, visionary women are hiding their concerns about equality between women and men. These businesswomen are hiding their own feminist identities.

Here’s how the confession the conversation breaks down:

First, we get the fears:

• I don’t want to bring up women’s concerns when talking to potential clients about this business issue.   If I raise it as a women’s issue, or — worse– a mom’s issue, it’s treated as a special interest instead of a business concern.

• I don’t want people to think I’m “only” talking about women’s issues, that I’m a one-trick expert.

• I don’t want clients to think that I’m bringing up women’s situation because as a woman I’m self-interested and/or because I have an axe to grind.

Then, we get the reflections on experience:

• Any time I bring this up as a woman’s issue, it gets marginalized and put in a corner because women are a “special case”.

• Any time I bring this up as a women’s concern, people disregard it and tell me that this isn’t a business issue.

• Anytime I bring it up how this program might work differently (like, not as well) for women, people treat me like I’m whining.

Then, we get the Authenticity Problem:

• I don’t want my silence to be perceived as me not being feminist.

• don’t want my silence about women’s concerns to be perceived as me not being smart enough to see the gendered dynamics, differences and issues that will prevent this business program from being successful.

• I don’t want my silence to be perceived as collusion.

But silent we are.

After a few (female and male) colleagues have said to me “I didn’t know you were a feminist,” I realized that I’d maybe dialed back my own authenticity a little too much.

And, I’ve wondered: What am I doing that is chronically inauthentic, if this is how some people see me? (Alternative analysis: they don’t know what a feminist looks like.)

Okay, I’ll admit it: I’ve hedged, myself, on this very blog. Many times. Over and over. Afraid people will dismiss AuthenticOrganizations if/when I drop the f-bomb.

Why is this Inauthenticity a problem?

By not speaking as feminist business people, about women’s issues, gender dynamics, and other intersectional concerns about diversity and inclusion that are important to the business initiatives they lead, none of these women gets to participate in an authentic way.

And, the very initiatives they are advocating are feminist issues — issues where a feminist analysis and the feminist agenda would make a big difference in what goals are set and what kind of social change is achieved. Said one of these businesswomen:

Sexism itself prevents us from covering these topics, even though we know we can’t put this initiative onto already “sexist “organizational cultures, and hope that we will still achieve the change we seek.

Not thinking as feminists, not reminding ourselves to use a feminist lens, actually impedes our effectiveness as business people, as strategists, as consultants, and as leaders.

So, what should we do?

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