Exclamation Points: An Authenticity Issue
Last week, I got a bit of crap from I was chided by one of my colleagues for sending a 4-line email with three (three!!) exclamation points. This colleague also pointed out that I occasionally sprinkle my tweets with exclamation points.
This is a problem. These exclamation points, s/he explained, are simply “not professional”.
“Not professional.”
Those are fighting words, are they not?
We who write about business, critique organizations, advocate social change, etc. are supposed to be professional, whether we’re using e-mail, or Twitter, or any other medium. Otherwise, you all “they” don’t take us seriously.
[Note, in just the last week, my tweets have included the terms "Foucault", "Saussure", and "capitalism-enhancing". But apparently those words don't detract from my professionalism. ]
Do exclamation points really dilute my authority as an expert?
Tarnish my PhD? Make me seem more like a mom blogger than a business blogger?
I know that we have gendered definitions of what it means to be “professional”. Women are held to different standards than are men when it comes to demonstrating our professionalism, because people have different expectations of men and women. So, I can appreciate that there may be some behaviors that are ‘unprofessional’, and might seem even more “unprofessional” when they come from women. Or me.
But are exclamation points one of these unprofessional behaviors?
For me, it’s important to be authentic in my communication – to be as direct, as clear, and as “me” as possible. Frankly, I am occasionally bemused by my own use of exclamation points, emoticons, emotional words inside brackets, cr*&sed out cuss words, and some occasional lolspeak [ e.g., I can haz paradimz!]. But yo, that’s how I roll. For real.
[Still, despite my fondness for Hello Kitty, I am not a smiley-face kind of gal. Not really. So I do see a contradiction there.]
But what is really going on with the critique of my use of exclamation points?
Let’s look at the research on gender and exclamation points!
[Of COURSE there is research on this! I found it in November when I was researching how we create social presence online through social media! And since I bookmarked it, I can go straight back there!]
Past research has reported that females use exclamation points more frequently than do males.
Such research often characterizes exclamation points as “markers of excitability,” a term that suggests instability and emotional randomness [emphasis mine] …
The present study uses a 16-category coding frame in a content analysis of 200 exclamations posted to two electronic discussion groups… The results indicate that exclamation points rarely function as markers of excitability in these professional forums, but may function as markers of friendly interaction, a finding with implications for understanding gender styles in email and other forms of computer-mediated communication. — Waseleski, C. (2006)
Hmm… exclamation points suggest instability and emotional randomness.
And they are used more often by men than women.
I start to see the problem… Instability and emotional randomness are obviously not professional characteristics — and these characteristics are particularly damning for female professionals.
But what did this research actually find?
- Females use exclamations significantly more than do males
- People use exclamation points to express thanks and friendliness (32%), and to emphasize facts (29%) more often than they do to reflect excitability (9%)
- “Thanking, whether of the friendly or effusive type, was also a predominantly female behavior (in this study). These findings are consistent with Herring’s (1994) observation that female online discourse style is characterized by “supportiveness,” which includes “expressions of appreciation, thanking, and community building activities that make other participants feel accepted and welcome” (p. 4). “
The results of this study do not support the notion that exclamation points function solely or even primarily as markers of excitability.
So apparently our generalized perception of how exclamation points are used online is different from what the data actually tell us what we think exclamation points from women are saying is different from what women who use exclamation points are actually trying to say. Looks like we have to listen to what women are actually saying.
Thus, I conclude that while exclamation points are often seen as ‘markers of excitability’ when used by women, in fact:
Exclamation points are tools for communicating thanks, friendliness and warmth!
I refuse to equate appreciativeness, friendliness and warmth with being “unprofessional”. So there!!.
If you get a tweet from me with an exclamation point, just imagine it as this: 
I can’t wait for Waseleski’s study of emoticons!
Waseleski, C. (2006). Gender and the use of exclamation points in computer-mediated communication: An analysis of exclamations posted to two electronic discussion lists. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 11(4), article 6. http://jcmc.indiana.edu/vol11/issue4/waseleski.html
Image from Trenton Garden of Sculpture by bobjagendorf on Flickr
A print of “Exclamation Point” by AndreaDaquino can be purchased on his site.
I am an organizational identity and reputation scholar with a PhD in leadership & organizations. I research, write, teach and consult with organizations about the relationships between organizational identity, actions, and purpose. See the 
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Business communication as evolved to the point where most of it occurs by a virtual medium – email, blog, twitter, etc. Barring the use of ALL CAPS, I find freely use exclamation points and emoticons helpful in expressing my personality. Interesting though…if I review my email habits, I notice that I do edit exclamation points and emoticons out of messages sent to men. I must be subconsciously conditioned to believe they’d find it unprofessional or too “woman like.”
As a fellow exclamation point (mark?) user, thank you for this post. Within the past few months, I’ve made a conscious effort to cut back on using them and had two people misunderstand the tone of my message. Correlation? Well, I’d like to think so!
I agree with your statement “I refuse to equate appreciativeness, friendliness and warmth with being “unprofessional” I see excessive (i.e., after every sentence in a paragraph; more than 5 after a sentence) exclamation marks kind of like all caps – it’s hyper shouting and should be limited. Using them to slightly change the tone of a message – this is fine with me!
Hi Michele –
I’m glad I’m not alone in using symbols to express what simple letters cannot— and I also share with you that sense of self-censorship. There are not only many men, but also a few women, with whom I find I censor not only the !! but also probably some of my realness. Shame on me. I’m fine with adapting communication style to the audience– that seems completely appropriate– but squelching to much of the ‘real’ me worries me.
Hey Erica– Your comment makes me think that we might have a subtle sense of what amount of ‘exclaiming’ (pointing?) communicates warmth, and what amount communicates that you’re off your rocker.
I will have to ask some other male colleagues what they think.
But I’m glad that this has struck a cord and that I’m not the only one out there looking for ways, especially within 140 chars, to be warm and real.
Thanks both of you for sharing your insights.
!!!
cv
One very senior woman used to scare the living daylights out of me. She is one of the kindest, warmest people you could meet. I still do not use exclamation marks with her – not sure I would. Another very senior woman in a large corporate, litters her emails to me with exclamation marks. I respond the same way but would never have instigated.
Male colleagues – only those I know well enough not to misinterpret informal communication for flirting. A rare few get kisses. This excludes one dear friend who would regard this as improper.
Like many (most?), my online presence, including blogs, email, Twitter, reflects a workplace persona. The temptation to let rip is sometimes overwhelming.
Not professional? Bullshit!
I don’t have a problem with exclamation points in general. They serve a purpose and give writers the ability to express their authentic self, which is what I advocate for myself and all the writers I work with. However, I do have an issue when exclamation are used in bulk in a short message (three out of four sentences would fit that category in my book) or used in multiples (!!!). Might as well just dot your I’s with a heart at that point.
Depends on who you are writing to (or to whom you are writing). I am a male and will occasionally use an exclamation point with someone I know, or to express or underscore a professional thought. With a broader audience, I would limit their use to non-contentious statements, and then sparingly. The can be used to make a point of humor, but you do need to know your audience.
I have learned that, for the most part, the best emotions that can be effectively expressed in an email are positive ones, such as congratulations, excitement, joy for another person’s success etc. Expressing negative emotions or feedback, especially one-on-one, is best done live. One exception may be indignation in an OpEd or forum. But then you ARE opening your comments to the world.
The article was fun, whimsical, and I enjoyed it!
I was recently told that starting an email with “Hi” is too girly. I would not start an email to upper management proposing a change to our workflow or anything along those lines with a “Hi,” but I do use this for less formal communication, and I thought it conveyed a friendly tone.
Am I off base?
Hi Jim-
You catch an important criterion for !!! appropriateness, that holds for email in general– there is much more latitude when offering positive comments. I like to think that !! give positive statements extra potency– maybe making them more powerful against negative feedback?
Thanks so much for sharing your perspective– exclamation points, and positive communication in general, should be all inclusive!!
cvh
Barbara-
I try to put hearts over my i’s but twitter won’t let me. hrumph.
just kidding. I think that would drive me over to CuteOverload.com.
cv